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August 26, 2016

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Yesterday...........

September 6, 2016

 I have made it known that I am an emotional person. I admit it, I own it, and most of the time, I rock it! I try to keep my emotions level and show "appropriate" amounts of all that swirls inside me constantly. Yesterday, ah, so glad it was yesterday, I totally blew up and experienced about 10 different emotions all at once. My husband was the lucky recipient due to something he said. It was off-hand and not the end of the world. He mused aloud how nice it would be for him to get in a car and drive 20 hours to a friend's to play golf for the week. Um, NO NO NO NO NO!! I have wrestled with insecurity and feelings of abandonment my whole life due to a tumultuous childhood and early adulthood, up until about six years ago actually! I've been married 4 (gulp) times. I have been left multiple times by many people who were closest to me; who said they loved me. Him telling me he even had the thought of leaving on a trip, willingly, excitedly, without me just jilted my ever so fragile insecure little girl self. We do everything together. We got married with that intention. I learned to golf and I learned all about college basketball so that we had those things in common. He supports my jewelry business by going with me to hunt for supplies and gives me the time I need to work on it. I went to his world to be with him and he became a part of my world to be with me. We love doing all the things together that comes with married life; even mundane things like the grocery store. We vacation and travel together. We go to the store and out shopping together. We watch sports and tv together. We live our lives together as much as we can and we designed our life around that concept. So to hear that he actually considered going somewhere without me was a huge slap in the face. I took it as hard as I've taken anything in the past. Now don't get me wrong; I know all about what we both need- I know we both need some sort of space and we both need our own "thing". We have that. This was something different, something new. After talking about it, after the tears, after the honesty from us both, he realized that he doesn't really want to go without me. I told him that he needs to go if he wants but he insists that he doesn't want to go without me. It sounds like he changed his mind because of my response. Maybe he did; maybe he truly feels that way. I will probably never know. What I do know though is that if he does really want to go, I have to let him because when you truly love someone, you have to give them the freedom to do what they need to do no matter how it makes you feel. I know also that he now knows my heart. He knows that I still struggle with feeling abandoned and I believe the lion heart in him will not force me to deal with that type of situation out of pure selfish choice. I am not sure if either of us won but I am sure that we love each other and we will continue to grow and learn and all of our yesterdays will bring us to a much brighter tomorrow~

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Thank you!!

Thank you for visiting Adorned Crown Jewelry! I plan to add new inventory regularly. Each piece is unique and one-of-a-kind and I never reproduce any of my pieces. I can create something similar but never exact. If you live in the area or are visiting, please stop in and see the lovely shops that support local artists like myself. If you would like for me to create something special just for you, don't hesitate to drop a line. I'd be happy to ship anywhere you are. Thanks again and God Bless~ 

All jewelry & images by Mariann Cranmer 

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